So many people run into this challenge, and it’s often the reason they don’t reach their weight loss goals.
I’ve seen countless individuals who have all the resources, potential, and capability to lose weight, yet they end up quitting at what I call the X-MidPhase—the halfway point where progress slows, motivation fades, and old habits start creeping back in.
Why Pain-Driven Motivation Fails
Most people start their weight loss journey fueled by pain. The discomfort of being overweight—whether it’s physical discomfort, health concerns, or low self-esteem—pushes them into action. When the pain is strong enough, motivation is high, and they’re willing to do whatever it takes: dieting, exercising, and even extreme measures to escape their current state.
But here’s the problem: as they make progress, the pain decreases—and so does the motivation. This is why so many people lose weight initially, but then struggle to stay consistent once they start feeling better.
Research supports this. Studies on motivation, such as the work by Dr. Edward Deci and Dr. Richard Ryan’s Self-Determination Theory, suggest that extrinsic motivation (like pain avoidance) is temporary, while intrinsic motivation—such as having a deeper sense of purpose—leads to long-term commitment and success (Deci & Ryan, 2000).
The X-MidPhase: The Danger Zone of Weight Loss
At this point, you’ve lost some weight, you feel better, and you’re about halfway to your goal. But because the pain is no longer driving you, you become comfortable. You start slipping—weekends, vacations, work trips, and holidays become excuses to indulge. You tell yourself you’ll get back on track, but instead, you get stuck in a frustrating cycle:
- Losing a few pounds, gaining them back.
- Maintaining your weight but never making further progress.
- Feeling like you’re putting in effort, but the scale doesn’t move.
This is the hardest part of weight loss—not the beginning, not the end, but the middle, where most people lose momentum.
The Solution: Shift from Pain to Purpose
Pain was the spark that got you started, but it’s not the fuel that will sustain you. Instead, you need to connect to purpose.
Unlike pain, purpose doesn’t fade. It’s the internal reason that keeps you going even when you don’t feel like it. Behavioral psychology research has shown that when people have meaningful goals tied to their identity and values, they are more likely to sustain long-term habits (Baumeister, 2016).
So instead of just wanting to “lose weight,” dig deeper:
- Do you want to be a better role model for your kids?
- Do you want to have the energy to play the sports you love?
- Do you dream of traveling and exploring without worrying about fatigue?
Your purpose has to excite you. That’s what will push you through the X-MidPhase and keep you going when pain is no longer your motivator.
How to Avoid Getting Stuck
One of the most powerful ways to stay on track is through journaling and self-inquiry—practices I have all my clients engage in early in their weight loss journeys. When you repeatedly remind yourself of your deeper reasons, it strengthens your resolve and keeps you from falling into the mid-phase trap.
If you don’t define your purpose, you risk staying stuck in an endless cycle of temporary motivation and stalled progress. But if you commit to something bigger than just weight loss, you’ll not only reach your goal—you’ll sustain it for life.